so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
