You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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