He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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