Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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