This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
