He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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