i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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