I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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