hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
