$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize