At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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