what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
