The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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