I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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