she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
