The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
