Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize