i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
