Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
