Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
