Apparently you make a good broom.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You dont lie about slip and slides
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
