Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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