What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You ruined the universe
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
