the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
