Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
