he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He has the fingertips of a God
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