im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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