You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
