Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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