Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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