I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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