Welp...herpes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
