Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
