Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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