if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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