This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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