pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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