Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
