Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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