I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
