Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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