OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
