If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
