i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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