Plan B is the new Plan A
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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