he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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