shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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