If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
