we're blogging at a bar
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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