She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
