Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
