I just saw a hot homeless man
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
