Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
