did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize