ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
