just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize