i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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