so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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