He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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