I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
