You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I cockslap morals
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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