just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you traded sex for a burrito?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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